2019年11月08日 英语美文 暂无评论



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In the past 10 years, Ive realized that our culture is rife with ideas that actually inhibit joy. Here are some of the things Im most grateful to have unlearned:
1. Problems are bad.
1. 难题都是坏事。
You spent your school years solving arbitrary problems imposed by boring authority figures. You learned that problems suck. Real problems are wonderful, each carrying the seeds of its own solution. Job burnout? Its steering you toward your perfect career. An awful relationship? Its teaching you what love means. Confusing tax forms? Theyre suggesting you hire an accountant. Finding the solution to each problem is what gives life its gusto.
2. Its important to stay happy.
2. 保持快乐很重要。
Solving a knotty problem can help us be happy, but we dont have to be happy to feel good. If that sounds crazy, try this: Focus on something that makes you miserable. Then think, I must stay happy! Stressful, isnt it? Now say, Its okay to be as sad as I need to be. This kind of permission to feel as we feel—not continuous happiness—is the foundation of well-being.
3. Im irreparably damaged by my past.
3. 过去深深的伤害了我。
Painful events leave scars, true, but it turns out theyre largely erasable. Jill Bolte Taylor, the neuroanatomist who had a stroke that obliterated her memory, described the event as losing 37 years of emotional baggage. Now it appears we can all effect a similar shift, without having to endure a brain hemorrhage. The very thing youre doing at this moment—questioning habitual thoughts—is enough to begin off-loading old patterns. For example, take an issue thats been worrying you and think of three reasons that belief may be wrong. Your brain will begin to let it go.
痛苦的事情总会留下疤痕,的确是这样,但它们也会随着时间淡去。神经解剖学家Jill Bolte Taylor因中风失忆了,她把这称为失去了“37年的情感包袱。” 其实不需要中风,我们也能经历类似的情感转变。你现在正在做的事情——怀疑以往的想法——已经足够你把过去那些事都翻篇了。比如,找一件曾让你困扰的事情,再想想三个原因来证明这种想法也许是错的。你的大脑就会忘记这个困扰。
4. It matters what people think of me.
4. 别人的看法对我很重要。
But if I fail, you may protest, people will think badly of me! This dreaded fate causes despair, suicide, homicide. I realized this when I read blatant lies about myself on the Internet. When I bewailed this to a friend, she said, Wow, you have some painful fantasies about other peoples fantasies about you. Yup, my anguish came from my hypothesis that other peoples hypothetical hypotheses about me mattered. Ridiculous! Right now, imagine what youd do if it absolutely didnt matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back.
“如果我失败了,人们就会看不起我了!”你也许会这样想。这种想法只会造成失望、自杀和杀人,这是我在网上看到对自己不实的诽谤时体会到的。我把这些和一个朋友倾诉,她说“你现在是因为幻想别人对你的看法而感到痛苦。” 是的,我的怨恨都来自于我的假设,我假想别人会对我做出一些评价。多可笑!现在试想一下,你将要做的事与别人怎么想你完全无关。学会了吗?很好,一直保持下去吧。
5. The pretty girls get all the good stuff.
5. 美女能获得所有的好东西。
Oh, God. So not true. I unlearned this after years of coaching beautiful clients. Yes, these lovelies get preferential treatment in most life scenarios, but theres a catch: While everyones looking at them, virtually no one sees them. Almost every gorgeous client had a husband whod married her breasts and jawline without ever noticing her soul.
6. If all my wishes came true right now, life would be perfect.
6. 如果我现在心想事成了,生活绝对很完美。
Check it out: People who have what you want are all over rehab clinics, divorce courts, and jails. Thats because good fortune has side effects, just like medications advertised on TV. Basically, any external thing we depend on to make us feel good has the power to make us feel bad. Weirdly, when youve stopped depending on tangible rewards, they often materialize. To attract something you want, become as joyful as you think that thing would make you. The joy, not the thing, is the point.
7. Loss is terrible.
7. 失去很恐怖。
Ten years ago I still feared loss enough to abandon myself in order to keep things stable. Id smile when I was sad, pretend to like people who appalled me. What I now know is that losses arent cataclysmic if they teach the heart and soul their natural cycle of breaking and healing. A real tragedy? Thats the loss of the heart and soul themselves. If youve abandoned yourself in the effort to keep anyone or anything else, unlearn that pattern. Live your truth, losses be damned. Just like that, your heart and soul will return home.
十年前,我仍希望一切如旧,害怕失去。难过的时候我会微笑,假装喜欢那些我厌恶的人们。现在我知道,失去并不是灾难性的,它们能促使内心和灵魂的自然循环那些伤害和愈合。真正的悲剧是什么?就是失去了内心和灵魂。如果在挽留某个人或维持某件事的过程中,你失去了自己,那就别再坚持了吧。做真实的自己,失去再难过,你的内心和灵魂也会慢慢愈合。 美文网